Letters to my Sir: Merry Christmas~shall we dance?

To my Sir:

I'm writing this note to you on Christmas eve and I hope it is the first gift you happen upon that makes your day brighter and brings you some joy. I can say with all honesty that I consider having you in my world as a profound blessing. We've had to overcome so many obstacles to be together this year. While circumstances aren't always perfect, we never let a day go by without taking time out to connect with each other. And that matters more to me than any gift you could ever hand me.

While I was out running all manner of errands earlier today (officially yesterday, I suppose) I came to a traffic accident that was blocking the route to my next destination. The road was so congested that I cut through a back way I know in hopes of hurrying along to complete the rest of my tasks. However, this back way took me through a residential neighborhood that borders a park. It's not an especially scenic park--really it's mostly a collection of pergolas and arbors surrounding this rather dull man-made lake--the kind one sees throughout Florida. There's not much to take in about this park beyond that shallow, too round lake. There are trees and some hedgerows but beyond those and the ugly little lake the main views at this park consist of the houses surrounding it and the adjacent street.

Still, despite my mad rush and the boring setting, I found myself looking at this park as traffic slowed ahead of me. I wasn't the only one taking the back way due to the accident fouling up the main road. I wound up stopped directly across from this modest little gazebo at the edge of the lake. I noticed an elderly couple seated there. They weren't doing anything particular, just sitting together, but their bodies were touching in a way that struck me as kind of adorable. As I waited for the line of cars ahead of me to start moving again, the old couple stood up and they started dancing together in this gazebo by the ugly little lake. And as they moved together, swaying in a tender embrace, they kissed.

This elderly couple cast an infusion of magic across an otherwise mundane landscape. I wish you could have seen them. They reminded me of what really matters. Their dance in a gazebo formed an unlikely backdrop against the crush of traffic and all the many things I had to get done and the list of things to do that awaited me when I finally got all of my errands accomplished for the day. As I spied their impromptu dance and sweet kisses my thoughts turned to you.

Life is filled with obligations--tasks and chores and crap that needs to get done--and all the expectations of those around us, all vying for attention for one purpose or another. It's easy to forget to take the time to just be in the moment.

That old couple today made me think of you and me--I wondered what we'll be like when we're at an advanced age. I know there is no way to know what the future might hold for us, but I can imagine us dancing in a gazebo. Of course, I hope our view will surpass that of the ugly man made lake in the cruddy little park. Then again, any time I have your eyes to look into I doubt I could notice much else ;)

Today I was reminded just how important it is to celebrate the time we have with one another. So, I wanted to let you know--especially at Christmas with all of its distractions--how much I love you.

Sometimes life feels like an uphill climb. In the midst of all the noise and the superficial drains upon our energies, I can't think of any better gift than to dance through all of that chaos with you

Merry Christmas, my love.

Letters to my Sir: Thank you for being the man in my life

To my Sir,

I want to thank you for being the man in my life. This post is the first I have written in many months and it marks the countdown to Christmas, which is just ten days away. I've been thinking of ways to do something special for you this Christmas. So, I'm writing this entry as part of a series that I'm creating as a gift to you. I want you to have a body of work that expresses how much I appreciate you, details what I think about our love for one another, and celebrates our relationship.

Neither of us knows what the future might hold and that gives me even more reason to express my thoughts and feelings to you. I hope you'll read this entry and those to come and see these writings as my small way of telling you how much I cherish having you in my life and how deeply I love you.

This has been a hard year for both of us. Still, you've taken all of my messes and doubts in stride and let me know that you really do mean it when you tell me you are there for me. I feared that if I opened my heart to you, I might be setting myself up for another disappointment. For a while, I was convinced that investing myself in anyone was simply not worth the risk. After being abandoned by the lying coward who left me to deal with a pregnancy on my own, it was hard for me to imagine trusting anyone ever again. But despite everything, you healed my heart.

I worried over that situation, knowing it would be too much to ask you to take on. There was a point last month when I was so downtrodden. I was certain you would walk away--and I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. Instead, you shocked me by telling me the very thing I needed to hear you say: "You know that won't scare me away."

Your words and the conviction with which you said them erased all my doubts. You responded to something I felt so alone in dealing with by reassuring me that you have every intention of sticking around.

You are more of a man than anyone I've ever met. You've shown me what a real man looks like just by being who you are, but also by being more than I ever expected.

Last month I thought this Christmas would be the final insult to a bitter season and miserable year. But I feel differently now. Even though things are not perfect and life is not ideal and selfish people do shitty things, we are still there for each other and that is a blessing.

You've inspired me to look at the world from a new perspective and to embrace all the possibilities that our future together may hold. And when you tell me that you love me, I can feel how much you mean those words.

I can see that you love me by your actions and your treatment of me. You always make sure that I know how much you care about me. You never let a day go by without telling me how often I am on your mind and not just that you are thinking of me, but that you think highly of me.

Your love for me gave me strength when I was at my weakest point. I hope you will allow me to return that gift to you when you need my support.

I love you more deeply with every passing day and I want you to know how much you mean to me. I admire your strength, your intellect, and the way you carry yourself through life. You've reminded me to find gratitude even when things aren't easy. Thank you for being who you are and for making me laugh--especially when I get frustrated or feel sad.

No one has ever looked at me the way that you do. No man has ever mattered to me the way you matter to me. Your heart is my heart's home and your arms are my safe haven.

You are sexy and talented and genuine. Everything about you turns me on. I love the way we get each other. We think alike on so many levels, but I still learn new things about you all the time.

We may not always agree yet we always understand each another.

I will never stop showing you how much I appreciate the way you protect me and care for me and how you do so without me ever having to ask. You quiet my fears and chase away my demons.

I love you, baby.